Unseen Edge: Etiquette in Tech & Venture Capital
Explore why 'soft skills' and proper etiquette are critical for founders, VCs, and business leaders, alongside a contrarian take on AI investments.
Key Insights
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Insight
Etiquette is a critical skill for founders and business leaders to build trust and operate effectively in high-stakes environments, enabling a 'low heart rate' approach to interactions.
Impact
Mastering etiquette can differentiate founders in competitive markets, leading to stronger investor relationships, more successful partnerships, and an overall calmer, more confident professional demeanor crucial for business longevity.
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Insight
The venture capital model for seed investments in companies 'branded as AI' is fundamentally flawed due to extreme capital intensity and potential for commoditization.
Impact
VCs and founders should focus on businesses that *use* AI as a tool or infrastructure to solve real problems, rather than building companies solely around the 'AI' label, to mitigate investment risks and foster sustainable value creation.
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Insight
In professional interactions, an 'abundance mindset' is more effective than a 'scarcity mindset,' promoting relationship building over transactional engagements.
Impact
Adopting an abundance mindset helps professionals avoid aggressive or desperate behavior, fostering genuine connections that can lead to unexpected opportunities and long-term collaborative success.
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Insight
Fit and appropriateness of attire are more important than the brand or cost of clothing in professional settings.
Impact
By prioritizing well-fitting and situation-appropriate dress, professionals project respect and awareness, enhancing their image without relying on ostentatious displays that can be counterproductive in startup culture.
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Insight
Respecting gatekeepers, like Executive Assistants (EAs) and Personal Assistants (PAs), is paramount in business dealings.
Impact
Treating support staff with respect fosters goodwill and can significantly smooth logistical processes and open doors, as these individuals often influence access and perception within an organization.
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Insight
Effective communication prioritizes brevity, clarity, and proofreading, assuming the recipient has limited time.
Impact
Streamlined and well-structured communication ensures messages are understood quickly, reducing friction and demonstrating respect for the recipient's time, thereby improving decision-making and collaboration.
Key Quotes
"Etiquette is a skill for how to show up in a room with a low heart rate."
"The venture capital, the seed venture capitalists who invest in companies that are branded as AI companies, are going to lose an impossibly large amount of money in the coming years."
"If you show up with too high a heart rate and you burn a bunch of mild relationship opportunities, like I don't know why you wouldn't want these skills, right?"
Summary
The Unseen Edge: Why Etiquette is Your Secret Weapon in Tech and Venture Capital
In an era dominated by technological disruption and rapid innovation, the conversation often centers on product-market fit, AI breakthroughs, or fundraising rounds. Yet, an increasingly critical, often overlooked, component of success for founders and business leaders is something seemingly old-fashioned: proper etiquette. Sam Lesson, partner at Slow Ventures and a two-time founder, argues that these "soft skills" are not just pleasantries but fundamental tools for building trust, fostering partnerships, and navigating the high-stakes world of technology and venture capital.
The "Low Heart Rate" Approach to Professional Interactions
Lesson's core philosophy positions etiquette as a skill for achieving a "low heart rate" in any professional setting. This mindset cultivates self-confidence and an "abundance mindset" rather than scarcity, transforming potentially high-pressure interactions into opportunities for genuine connection. For founders, this means moving beyond transactional networking to build enduring relationships that transcend immediate asks.
* Cultivating Trust: In a world where technology is commoditizing, and trust in digital interactions is often tenuous, personal reliability becomes paramount. How one carries themselves, from punctuality to communication, directly impacts perceived trustworthiness. * Beyond the Product: While product innovation is crucial, it's rarely sufficient. The ability to engage effectively with investors, partners, and team members can be the decisive factor in securing deals or building a cohesive organization. * Avoiding Unnecessary Obstacles: Poor etiquette doesn't necessarily block success, but it creates an "unnecessary uphill battle." Simple missteps can inadvertently signal a lack of awareness, respect, or maturity, complicating potentially beneficial relationships.
Practical Polish for the Modern Professional
Lesson provides actionable advice across various social and professional scenarios:
* First Impressions & Introductions: Be early, offer a firm handshake, repeat names, and introduce partners first. When meeting influential figures, avoid sycophancy or overly casual behavior. The goal is to leave a lasting, positive impression that invites future engagement. * Dressing the Part: Focus on fit over brand. Dress one level up for the occasion, not overly formal or casual. When in doubt, it's always acceptable to ask about the expected dress code. * Dining Dynamics: Always offer to pay (even if declined), tip generously (20% minimum), and avoid ordering the most expensive items. Be mindful of table manners, such as napkin placement and cutlery use. The aim is to make everyone feel comfortable, not to draw attention to oneself. * Communication & Scheduling: Prioritize clear, concise communication, proofread carefully, and assume the recipient is busy. When scheduling, accommodate the more senior or busier party first, avoiding inflexible tools like Calendly unless offering genuine options. Crucially, show utmost respect for EAs and PAs. * Small Talk & Humor: View small talk as a "modem crash" – a necessary handshake before deeper conversation. Use humor judiciously, preferring self-deprecating jokes over potentially offensive ones. Always aim to leave people "wanting more" from the interaction, rather than oversharing.
A Contrarian Stance on AI Investing
Shifting gears, Lesson offers a stark warning for venture capitalists in the seed stage: "The venture capital, the seed venture capitalists who invest in companies that are branded as AI companies, are going to lose an impossibly large amount of money in the coming years." His argument hinges on several points:
* Capital Intensity & Dilution: True AI foundational companies are extraordinarily capital-intensive, making them unsuitable for seed-stage venture returns due to massive dilution. Even highly successful companies might only yield middling returns for early investors. * Commoditization: Many AI applications are prone to commoditization, lacking defensible lock-in or proprietary value beyond the underlying models. AI as a Tool, Not a Business Model: Lesson distinguishes between businesses that use AI to enhance existing operations or create new value, and those that brand themselves* as "AI companies." The former leverages AI as infrastructure; the latter risks being a narrative-driven bubble. * Societal Implications: Lesson sees greater opportunity in businesses addressing the cultural and societal implications of AI, such as security against AI-generated fraud or tools for discerning human from bot.
Conclusion
In a competitive landscape, the emphasis on product and technology often overshadows the foundational importance of human connection and professional grace. Sam Lesson's insights remind us that mastering etiquette, alongside strategic market understanding – especially concerning emerging technologies like AI – provides an unseen, yet powerful, advantage. For leaders, investors, and entrepreneurs, these principles are not just about being polite; they are about pragmatic business strategy, fostering trust, and ensuring long-term success in an ever-evolving world.
Action Items
Adopt a 'low heart rate' and 'abundance mindset' for all professional engagements, focusing on building relationships rather than immediate transactions.
Impact: This approach reduces stress, fosters genuine connections, and can lead to more favorable long-term business outcomes by projecting confidence and trustworthiness.
For important meetings, arrive 10-15 minutes early to allow for a calm entry, and for virtual calls, ensure your camera is on with an appropriate, tidy background.
Impact: Punctuality and a professional virtual presence demonstrate respect and readiness, setting a positive tone for discussions and enhancing perceived professionalism.
When dining with business associates, always offer to pay and tip generously (20% minimum), and avoid ordering the most expensive items on the menu.
Impact: These gestures convey generosity and awareness of social dynamics, avoiding perceptions of stinginess or insensitivity to cost, which strengthens professional rapport.
Prioritize direct communication when scheduling, offering real availability rather than relying solely on inflexible scheduling links, especially with more senior individuals.
Impact: This demonstrates respect for others' time and schedule constraints, making the scheduling process smoother and building goodwill with key contacts.
Send prompt, concise 'thank you' notes after meetings and always clean up after yourself (e.g., placing coffee cups in the kitchen) in shared office spaces.
Impact: These small acts of gratitude and consideration reinforce a positive image, reflecting a thoughtful and respectful individual, which enhances professional reputation and future collaboration opportunities.